Entry 32: Two Things

Two things have been on my mind a lot lately:

1. Just how much Harper is loved.
2. OH MY GOODNESS! We are moving!

Let's start with number 1.

Pictures like this pop up on my TimeHop and have really touched me lately.  This picture is not of a special event, a holiday, or even a memorable occasion, but I love it so much.   The love Brian had for Harper was abundantly clear to everyone, especially her.  I miss that for her. However, the people in our lives compensate by showering her with love times one million. As I sit on the edge of the pool and watch one of my childhood besties tread water in the deep end so that Harper can jump to him over and over again, I think about the many people that pour love into Harper. I feel so incredibly blessed for her. My best friend turns to me after Harper does something adorable and says, "Gosh, I just love her," with total sincerity almost as if she loves her as much as I do. Harper runs out of the Sunday school class and all I can hear is giggling as she plays with Uncle Greg. Everywhere we go she is loved. The gym, the family reunion, vacation with my parents, church, firework shows,  her sweet little school, you name it. She is loved and hugged. Because so much love has been modeled for this little nugget, she shows love in return. As I get dressed in my comfy clothes for around the house, she says, "I love your shirt, Mommy."  As we drive away from fireworks, she says, "I really will miss my best friend."  As I see my sweet Livi (who I babysat since age 6 months, now 14 years old) cracking up as Harper does something else ridiculous my heart smiles.  My heart literally wants to explode when I think of how lucky our child is to be on the receiving end of so much love from so many people and not just the people who are supposed to love her. How did she get so lucky?!

Now number 2.  Look what I wrote in my journal on this day in 3 years ago. 3 years ago!  Brian and I have wanted to move for so long and now it is a reality.  I was home alone today because Harper was missing school and wanted to go, and because we move in 15 days. This is the first time I have been alone in a while. As I was packing boxes I got emotional. Although this is my reality and I am excited, I want it to be OUR reality. I love packing and organizing and I did a whole bunch right after Brian died. Thank God for that because touching all of these pieces of him now, 5 months after he has been gone, really makes me miss the heck out of him. Reading what a few people wrote in his yearbook, seeing pictures of him with his best friends from high school who are now my besties, debating what to do with a FatHead of Robert Griffin, it's all just hard. Reading the card I wrote to him on our wedding day and wishing our forever I talked about in there was longer. I miss him everyday, but packing up our life, our home, has really got me missing him bad today.  He would've been no help with the packing at all. His style of moving was throwing things into the truck or trunk without even a box, but I wish he could see our dream becoming a reality.  Although alone time is not my favorite, I am thankful for the time to miss him and to carefully wrap our memories in newspaper to take them to our new home. A home where we will bring Brian with us, even the Redskins stadium picture for our Redskins corner in the garage. I am thankful for the tangible memories, but most thankful for the memories in our hearts (and in my journal because let's be real my memory is not that great).

So about those two things on my mind:

1. Thank you for loving Harper so much!
2. OH MY GOODNESS! We are moving in 15 days!!!!