Times are weird. Does that mean it’s time for a blog? I don’t know. Why not?
So if you know me you know I like people. Like a lot. Like showering is enough alone time for me. I also like to go and do and be active. So this whole social distancing thing is not really my jam. I’m obviously doing it because I care about people but it doesn’t mean I’m good at it. Sure I’ve found a new love for my backyard. Harps learned how to ride her bike after a few short days of practice and now rides the 1 mile to my parent’s house and back. And I get to spend amazing amounts of quality time with not only Harper but Lily too! Camp Karen in full effect. I’m also super fortunate to have an essential job and an amazing team to lead. People who literally work endlessly to make sure our students get what they need. But again this leading is happening from far away. Blah!
We miss Brian too. Like a lot. Harper literally tells me at least three times a day. I don’t know if because this virus feels like a life change or because she really just misses people in general and it’s normal to say we miss daddy or option 3, something I haven’t thought of yet, but truly it’s no less than 3 times a day that she’s says I miss Daddy and she hasn’t skipped a day yet. Yay for consistency!
Another weird change is this: Harper’s go to line after I say goodnight, her successful stall tactic, is to say “what are we doing tomorrow?” She knows her momma likes a good plan so I would always typically answer. After two weeks of being here together, my answer has been, “same as yesterday. I work at home while you do school work then we’ll think of something to do here.” Well she got smart, after saying what are we doing tomorrow and getting the same response of “exactly what we did today” she has now changed her question. As I walked out the room expecting the same line she asked, “Mommy, what are we doing after the virus?” Ummm all the things! Duh!!!!
I like having something to look forward to. I like being busy. I love people. I really like spending Easter with my family. None of those things are happening right now and it does a weird thing with my grief.
But again I know we are lucky. We have fun together. We have an amazing guy in our lives who cooks us meals and delivers toilet paper and brownies. Highly coveted items. He spends time with us and is our only source of human contact! You can imagine how clingy and needy I am. We bought a Nintendo Switch and a hammock and spend equal amounts of time with both. We get to work. We have the means to do school at home. We live close enough to my parents that even though we stay 6 feet away I can be their Shipt shopper and still borrow the Easter cookie cutters even if we aren’t baking together. I also am very aware that life would be so different if Brian was alive and still going through treatment. This would be totally insane like I know it is for many. We wouldn’t leave
. We’d be terrified to touch a delivery box. I also know it would be crazy/maybe fun to think of being locked down with him 24/7. Y’all would’ve had to send in some rescue due to his craziness. I cannot imagine what his Facebook messages would be or how many people he would harass daily.
All this to say, weird times. Right? So....what are we doing after the virus???
