When Brian first passed, I was writing blogs all the time. It is always for big feelings. Now it is typically when something heavy happens or on his anniversary, but this time it is for celebration.
I remember four and half years ago, sitting in the pediatrician's office and trying to figure out what was going on with Harper. We had tested everything and were just waiting for one more test result. The doctor hadn't received the results yet so I checked my Quest app and they were there. The number was high. Super high! And when I told the doctor I saw her face. I quickly read the little description Quest provides and knew we were looking at something life long. I remember feeling so devastated. Sad that my girl would have to deal with something her whole life. Immediate grief. Immediate tears while still trying to spin it positively in front of an 8 year old who was listening to every word and reading all the faces in the room. How silly of me. The grief! Of course we would prefer to never have Crohn's but then that would mean no Camp Oasis and I am pretty sure Harper wouldn't trade Camp Oasis for anything even if it meant not having Crohn's and eating Honey nut Cheerios.
Camp Oasis is Harper's magical place. Have you ever had one of those? For me it was Cedarkirk. For Harps, it is Camp Oasis. Camp is put on by the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation hosted at Camp Twin Lakes in Winder, GA. Four years ago, it was her first sleep away camp. She barely hugged me goodbye as she ran off with her group. I waited til 2:00AM every night waiting for the email of daily photos, and I would scour them looking for even a glimpse of the side of her face. Again silly me to worry. She LOVED it. Since the day she left camp 2023, she has looked forward to it every single year. She packs weeks before we are even set to leave. She has a group text of other kiddos from the camp and they start texting as camp gets closer. She loves everything about it. But if you ask her what her favorite is, she will say the people. If that isn't a reflection of her mom and dad I don't know what you would call it.
This year, as I waited in the long line with my ID at pick up, I couldn't wait to see my girl. The woman checking my ID says, "Wait! You're Harper's mom?!" Then she went on to tell me how much she enjoyed Harper. How Harper cracks her up and that she was such a trip. Her dad would've loved to hear that! As I went to the nurse to pick up her cooler of food, the nurse stops me and says, "I have to tell you about your girl." Then she went on to explain how amazingly loving and kind an empathetic Harper was. Explaining that another camper was trying SCD but didn't have enough food packed and how Harper problem solved, shared her meals, and was genuinely concerned for her friend. She went on to say that she made sure all the staff knew and wishes she could reward her in some way. As you can imagine, that makes me beam. There is nothing I want more than to raise a kind
and caring kid. She comes by it naturally. As I sat and listened to the chants, listened to them cheer as different pictures pop up in the slideshow, I couldn't help but think that they cheered a little extra loud when Harper's face came up. As I got a little choked up, I looked around the room and thought how amazing it is that all these kids and many of the counselors have Crohn's and colitis and get to come together and just be the same. To make memories. To experience magic. To look up to leaders. To experience joy.
Tonight Harper is so sad. Not because she has Crohn's but because she is not at camp. My heart could not be happier. I have my girl back and she comes back changed. More connected. More proud. Fuller heart. Stinkier shoes. And more magic added to her favorite place on earth. So thank you Crohn's for changing my girls life.
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