Today I went to clean out Brian's office. This isn't a task I have been avoiding, it is just out of sight out of mind, so I keep forgetting. Well I set a reminder in my phone today and went over there (27 minutes after the reminder...oops!). Let me start by saying I am so thankful I organized my house when I did. Today made me realize that the further I get from Brian's death, the more meaningful things become including little scraps of paper. Luckily his boss had already made piles and organized his belongings making it easier for me. I can call off the search for the level from our house, the tape measure and the bucket of nails. I noticed they were missing when I wanted to hang the new canvases I got from our photographer after he died. They have been located. The mystery is solved. Ha! I really couldn't understand how we lost a level. Now I get it. Brian must've needed to hang things in his office. I also gained two new water bottles, found his Bose headphones, and a FatHead of baby Harper!
Seeing his handwriting was the best! I mean seriously, how can him scribbling the words "my daughter" in a tiny doily have so much meaning?!?!?! However, I also found something super impactful. Words to live by. At the last conference he went to, Brian filled out a postcard that was supposed to be sent to him in a year. This is what he wrote:
I mean seriously?!?!?! Isn't that what his life was/is? Isn't that what all the friends said at the graveside service? To live like Brian. Well here it is folks. My new life mantra. My next tattoo. JUST KIDDING, MOM! I may or may not have rubbed the postcard on my face before leaving it. Although I wasn't avoiding the task of his office, it was much much MUCH more emotional than I realized. I love him. I love this postcard. I love his cartoon drawings and doodles. I haven't looked through it all yet, but gosh I am thankful for pieces of him!
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